I can remember how I, during pregnancy and the first couple of months of my sons life, I was looking forward to the moment where he would be big enough to start going to school. It seemed like a fun time to me. Being able to communicate and let's not forget; finaly I'd have more time for me, my life, work etc.
Yeah right.
I silently started the sobbing process a little while ago. I realised how much I love being a mom. And how I don't really miss my former life (former meaning before pregnancy). How I don't even mind keeping the house clean all off the time because my son is making a mess all over the place. And many more of these things.
So, the other day, we went to check out preschools and the first one we visited was all we were looking for. My son blended in within minutes and the teachers were so nice and so experienced. We spend about 2 hours there, my son loving every second of it and today was D-day. His very first day of school, without mom or dad or grandmom. Because on my wrking days, my mom was always looking after him.
Everything went very well. I felt good (not a tear in sight!) my son was a bit uncertain but slowly blending in and after 30 minutes it was time for me to go. He was jumping up and down with the other kids and I took him apart and told him goodbye (before school started I had explained him many times what was going to happen). He went back to play and jump up and down. This was going great! What a relief!! Yeah, until he noticed I had put on my coat. He started crying and ran up to me, pulling my coat so I would take it off. And out of nowhere, faster than light travels, tears were rolling down my cheeks!
I kind of hid behind his back so he wouldn't see, because that would only make things worse. I looked at the teachers, eyeing them: HELP ME! And they did, they are truly great. One of them stept right in to entertain my son (wow, tears dry in 1.2 seconds) and the other one escorted me out to the hallway. We both looked trough the window and my boy wasn't even looking for me. What a relief! So I could go home without worries (they'd also call me if he needed me).
So there I was, on my way home. Sobbing all over the place. Biggest tears ever down my face. People on the streets looking at me and wondering whether they should offer help or not. Back home in the empty house things got even worse. OH MY GOD! I thought I was a thoughie, but I am not! Clearly I am not. After 30 minutes I was doing much better, thankyouverymuch.
And proud as a mom can be I was all set and ready to pick him up and the end of the morning. There he was my tiny prince, the love of my life! And he did great!
Now he is asleep and I spend a little extra time looking at him watching him sleep and breath. So cute, so small, so sweet. I can imagine him being all grown up in 20 years. I will probably still feel the same as I do now. And I will never forget today.
You will always be my baby boy. I love you.
(here come the tears again!)
My son is the second child, holding his bunny
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