The beauty and benefit of a uturus collapse (prolapse)

It has taken me months to finaly reach this point where I can actually feel, with all that I am, that there is something beautiful about my uturus prolapse. All though it might seem strange to some, and even weird to others, I am actually very happy that I now see this light.

 

(picture from Isha Lerner's website)

The prolapse (and time and a very very professional and experienced osteopath and intense meridian chi kung practise) has 'given' me the gift to get back in touch with my uturus. And my uturus actually means, my deeper self. My real self, the self I was while being a child. Untouched, undammaged, unshamed, unspoiled. My very me in the purest form.

Before I go further, it is probably best to explain that most women store emotional dammage in their uturus area. This is a built up from childhood. Some can better deal with their problems than others of course, and because of that the outcome is different for every body. (I am not a specialist, but this is how I experience it and the information I have gathered a long the years from several specialists in holistic healing. Your MD might think your crazy if you'd tell the above... so I don't even bother).

Like so many other people I have been through some difficult times, starting half way through my childhood years. At this moment in time, I am still not sure what exactly triggered my body problems (or better said: My body no longer able to deal with the emotions or stress and giving out loud signals. Every time the signals were ignored, my body started sending of louder and louder signals. You'll be amazed how long one can and will ignore these signals... until you will come to a point of no return. And sadly enough, for many people this is also the point where there isn't much of a future either...). And while I usually want to know exactly what caused a problem, this time I am not so sure whetter or not it is really relevant. What is much more important: How can I make myself better again. Or/and: What can I do to feel truly free again? Where and how do I carry this burden and let's learn a way to not carry this with me.

So this is basicly a beautiful time. Amazing life questions (for me that is. People in Haiti have much larger problems and questions. But each soul has its own path) seeding in my body and I am sure the paths and answers will grow inside me, as long as I give it light, attention and love.

My osteo told me I will not be able to improve the prolapse by visualizing, but I strongly feel different. I so strongly feel that my uturus needs attention. My attention, and mine only. I need to reconnect with her, we need to become 1 again. Inside her resides my soul and spiritual me. Everything I have longed for for so long, because I could feel I was missing something!

So, I will be focussing on my uturus and trying to undo the prolapse. Visualizing it free and flying. Strong and flexible. Happy, healthy and beautiful.

Happy Valentines day my sweet uturus! Ha ha!! lovely!

on a crossroad

Yeah okay, the last 2 or 3 months have been pretty full on if it comes to unlayering my onion so to speak!

You know, the many layers, like an onions layers, that cover up your soul and potential. Well... I am digging deep and hard! Fact of the matter is that I have been on and off doing that for a couple of years now. I entered the path a long time ago, but now it is getting unavoidable. Which is really good and pretty darn tough sometimes!

About a year after me giving birth I started experiencing monthly migraines, a week after my period had started. I did experience migraines before, but never this frequent. There was a message there! and a collapsed uturus and a stuck ovary. Which lead me to an chinese doctor (herbs and acupuncture) at first and a specialised osteopath later (and still). I had osteo done before, but never this kind... I wasn't ready for all these emotions being unlocked! Yes yes yes, the layers of the onion are finally being touched, moved and letting go off! But what a hell of a job. It really is hard work!

Thing with me (and I guess with many others as well) is that my 'controlling' part is pretty strong and has taken over most of me. Sounds weird to you? That's fine. If you want further explaining, let me know? Now, after about 3 treatments, yoga and meridian chi kung, I am really seeing/feeling when and where the control part kicks in, but so far I haven't been able to do anything about it. It is like it paralizes the rest of me. Truly taking over. So what do you do??? My osteo told me to be patient and keep doing what I am doing. Ha! being patient is not one of my core qualities and indeed be an answer to some of the issues.

So I am unpatiently trying to be patient. Feeling restless on and off. Tara Stiles just Tweeted (http://twitter.com/TaraStiles) something to remember:  What are you holding onto that's holding you back? Honest meditation will show you. Up to you what to do about it.

So, if you'll excuse me, I'll go into honest meditation right now!